Weekend Picture diary

glimpses from our outing

wax impression of Jack Nicholsons face :)

My sister in law with a friend
siter in law and Brother :)

Amogh - seethakka - Sagar

amogh
Amma
eagleton

sis and attige
sis at folk mela :)

MIss You

How many stars are in the sky tonight? Do the same stars appear every night? Or are they different ones? Stars are so many light years away from us. In that case are we looking at the past when we look at the stars? Isn’t it true that the present day state of the star will only be visible to us after many light years?

I am literally gasping for breath. I am so stressed out of work that I feel like running away. Sometimes, it’s so simple to be ordinary! Why do we have the urge to excel? Is career so important or is passion over rated? It’s confusing because I feel good about my work but I have no one to share it with.

Olden days were great. Friends had time for you and you had time for friends. With time, time fades away. You realize you live an illusion.

I miss Archana and being with her. I miss taking bike rides with Vikram and eating Parathas off his lunch box . . .I miss craking jokes with Shreethi .. . I miss being bossed over by Amit . . Laughing out loud with Nandini . .. Discussing bizarre things with Amila . .

Singing and Pjing with Sahu . . . talking to Praj . . .being arty with Rash . .Watching movies with Ravi . . Discussing books with Pavan . . . . touring with Pammi . . Concerts with Pal . .

I MISS IT ALL . . .

Talent unlimited

You switch on TV channels today and all you find is reality TV. Talent shows get the cream. Any channel you know has a talent show and its disturbing to see how many lives are disturbed because of this. These shows produce one day wonders and buy the time the contest reaches its finals, a thousand lives are already at stake.

Real talent has to be nurtured. Like real flowers need to bloom and die on a plant and not decay on a bouquet, real talents need to be nurtured and guided properly. One has to grow as a person before he gains popularity or before he can actually handle popularity. You can be talented, but for you to shine out as a star you need personality and this personality has to root out from within oneself. You can twinkle a day and vanish away, but for you to be a real star – you need to eternally shimmer. . and that demands for a lot of fuel.

bliss

I can’t believe I am out of college and now in a career and all that. I think Growing old makes you so boring. Being a child is a real bliss. When you are kid, you are so close to nature. Physically too you are very close to the earth, and because of the closeness you let the greenery to flourish in your heart. When you grow old, you grow taller and away from the earth and you too let the emptiness of the sky fill in you.

Why should we grow? Why should all the greenery go away? Why do we need to reach the sky? The higher we fly, the greater we fall . . .

I wish I could be a child once again …and fall as many times in a day as I did . . and yet keep smiling and not be hurt . .

I wish I could be blissful

ದೀಪ

ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ಹೊಸ ದಿನ ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ಹೊಸ ಪಯಣ

ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ಹೊಸ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ಹೊಸ ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗೆ

ಮತ್ತದೇ ಸಂಜೆ ಮತ್ತದೇ ರಾತ್ರಿ

ಮತ್ತದೇ ಬೆಳಕು ಮತ್ತದೇ ಕತ್ತಲು

ಕ್ಷಣಿಕ ಸತ್ಯಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಅರ್ಥ ಹುಡುಕುವುದೀಕೆ?

ಸುತ್ತಲೆಲ್ಲಾ ಕತ್ತಲು ತುಂಬಿರುವಾಗ ಕಣ್ಮುಚ್ಚಿ ಮನಸ್ಸಿನೊಳಗೆ ಇಣುಕಿ ನೋಡಿದೆ

ಮನದ ಮೂಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ದೀಪ ಉರಿಯುತ್ತಿತ್ತು

ಅದರ ಬೆಳಕು ಪ್ರಖಾರವಾಗಿರದೆ ಇದ್ದರು ಬೆಚ್ಚಗಿತ್ತು

ಕತ್ತಲು ಕ್ರಮೇಣವಾಗಿ ಮಾಯವಾಯ್ತು

ಬೆಚ್ಚನೆಯ ನಗುವೊಂದು ಮುಖದಿ ಮೂಡಿತ್ತು

ದೀಪ ಹಚ್ಚಿ ಇಟ್ಟಿರುವ ನಿನಗೆ ಅಭಿನಂದನೆಗಳು!!!

Favourites Listing - I

And ode to my favourite actors.... I have many more actors to talk about . . .but these artists have postitioned themselves on the top of my favourites list

JACK NICOLSON - God of Acting. His sincere performances and brilliant characterisation techniques leave me dumbfounded every time . . .

Anant Nag - The greatest actor alive in India . . . If you want to know what an actor can do . . just observe him on screen . . . .you will know

Bomman Irani - Witty, smart and brilliant. one of the few actors who can afford to be very versatile . . and yet be unique every time

Meryl Streep - Her acting is magical. Her eye can move an inch and write poetry

Shabana Azmi - I feel the magic of an eye and glittering tears were all made for this brilliant actor...... she has etched my heart with her brilliant performances

Konkona Sensharma: the most sincere and down to earth performer.... She can act seemlessly and thats her greatest strength.

To my love . . .

I was sitting in may shooting location today. The place is awesome. Almost like a farm house. Cut far away from the maddening crowd. You find a lot of silence here. Silence is not always pleasant. Some times it pierces your ears with its latent sound.

Silence is like the color black. Just like black absorbs all colors. . silence is the furnace of the loudest noises one can hear. External sounds divert you from within. Silence draws you closer to your self. Your self is now so loud that you can barely take the noise that emerges from within.

The deepest noise from within me was musical. Yet it was disharmonious. The melodies were layered. One layer had the four seasons violin concerto by Vivaldi and the other layer was the background score from the film psycho. The melodious string quartets were disturbed by the cut sounds of the psychotic music.

Melodies and chaos cannot co exist. Yet, when they do, they deafen your logical reasoning. One cant be sad all the time. One cant be happy all the time either. But if a person is happy and sad at the same time, he will go mad soon. . . .

I caress you with my hands,

And smell your fragrance . . .
I obsess about you

And honor your arrogance

I always love you for why you were

But I will never know if I can love you for what you have become…

Distance has a blessing

Distance has a curse

What is all the blessings worth

If you are left alone to savor the curse

You have gone so far away, that I can touch you no more

Caress you no more..

I can smell you no more and

Obsess about you no more. .

You are now just a memory

A thing of the past

I deserve more than loyalty

Not a love occasionally found and usually lost.

FLAUNTING PART II

flaunting some more pics . . he he why have I turned into such a show off?

Finally . . . . . . . .!!!!!

I caught up with this new movie called kalaakaar in kannada. Was immensely impressed with how well it was made. Neat film.

But what took me to ecstacy was that, the hero of the film Harish Raj truely rockssss!!! I am his huge fan now. He was well known as a TV actor and had given many neat performances in certain off beat films like Dweepa and KAnooru heggadati. But his new avtaar as this commercial hero blew me away......

He is sexy, Handsome, Cute and more than anything gifted with a lot of talent. He is a complete package. And finally, a face to reckon with in kannada cinema.

He is the face that was missing. He has glamour . . can talk well . . technically sound . . acts wonderfully . . . and thats a rare combo.

all these years I have been totally looking out for a star who can be all these and I am glad i finally found one in Harish....

here are a few pics of this deserving star for people who arent acquainted with him

Way to go man . . you ROck!!!! and hope u do lot of good work and luck and opportunity come to you in abundance. You have come here to stay.... :)

here is a link to the promo of his film. . go watch it if you havent yet.

http://www.videogirmit.com/kalaakaar/promo-2-video_7f1b81dda.html

What do ya think?

My new facets :) photography is so magical.

Light and shadow change the way this world looks. My face assumes a diferent character when under light and shadow. Heres a bit of self emulation through colours, light and shadow.

black and white always creates a mystery

contemplating hues and warm colours . .levae u deep in thought

black and bronze create a rustic rawness thats pleasent

the golden yellow makes you rich :)

sepia undertones give you a period image

lots more . . .coulors are magical . . . . .

I fell in love with colours after i was inspired by Keislowski and Almodovar . .

guiseppe tornotore is a person who inspired me with warm tones.

Ray and Tarkovsky inspired me with black and white . . .

Hats of to all the great filmmakers for filling the silver screen with their imaginative pallet!!!

A Scene from an imaginary film

I was free in the later part

of the day today. went to comercial street and richmond road for some work and some shopping. Found some intesting stuff. While returning back from there to my place was stuck in this huge traffic. Had no clue what to do. A imaginary movie was running in my brain. A lousy one. But I would like to share a scene from there.

So here it is a scene from my imaginary film.

(SUdeshna and Ajay are a couple. Married for five years. Now they are seperating. Marriage is not bliss anymore. Sudeshna has packed her bag and is ready to leave... its night . . . and Ajay has returned from work . . he is amused . . .)

A: whats this sudhi? whay r ur bags packed?

s: I am leaving Ajay, . . for good . .

a: why this madness?

s: You know why . . !

a: no I dont . .tell me . . i need to know . .

s: u have always known. . . U just pretended to look past it. Even I always knew . .

but I was in denial.

a: what crap? what did I know? . . what did you know?

s: stop acting like u dont know the answers Ajay

a: and u stop acting like u r a victim of this marriage. U are addicted to deppression. . its your

problem . . dont hold me responsible for this.

s: I always thought so too Ajay. But I will not blame myself any more . .

a: ya .. right!!!! so what is the meaning for all the mess that has ruined our marriage? whats rhe reason foe all Your insanity . .your stupid behavior . . ?

s: I did not ruin this marriage . . U did . .

a: whattt?

s: I knew all the time Ajay . . I knew all the time about you . .

a: what did u know . .?

s: (is silent)

a: what? . . . . . . . . . . ??? that i slept around with other women?

s: (smiles) . .correct . . I knew all the time Ajay . . every time you slept with another woman, u remembered me with guilt . . and that guilt reached my consciense.

a: he he he .. dont be stupid Sudhi . .

s: I know its true.... and i was stupid all this time . .. but not any more .

a: but you know it meant nothing sudhi . U r my love . .

s: If i was your love . . why did you sleep with other women Ajay?

a: It was meaningless .

s: was it because you found cuter women? sexier women? or was oit besause they were better in bed?

a: stop it Sudhi . . I am telling you . .It was meaningless

s: meaningless?? why would some one do meaningless things? whats the mesaning behind this meaningless actions of yours?

a: I dont know why its such a big deal to you . . ?

s: you will never know Ahjay .. thats the difference between you and me . . Every time you even thought of another woman,I knew it . .and I went through endless pain and suffering. everytime i suffered in my loneliness and blamed myself for the way i think . . . . when it was true all the time . . .

you ruined me . . You devastated me . .

I know you dont feel guilty . .u dont feel you are wrong . . but I disagree . . and i want to forgive myself. . i want to be happy . .

I will let you free . .

take your freedom . . . but u will never get my love back . . .its too late for that . .

I have lived with you for all these years, so I wont hate you . but I will not hold on to you also . .i will break through this and find my peace.

bye . . .

(she leaves)

I suddenly woke up from the scene -----

It was hard for me to let sudheshna go away. Because of i let her walk out of my scene, i would never really know what she would go through . . where she would go . . I wanted to give her a hug and tell her that she was right and she should be strong. But she would never trust anyone ever again, s0 I knew she wouldnt trust me either . . so I just let her go . . .

I wish i could tell her that people do things in life to momentarily forget themselves . .people hate loneliness and silence because they cant talk to themselves or face themselves . . people write, paint, act because monentarily they get to be in another persons life and not their own. . . . some people deal with themselves by expressing their sonfusions

and

others find addiction as a solution . . Addiction to smoking . . drinking . . food . . and sex . . . they dont accept the fact that their addiction is ruining them and everything around them... they justify their addiction because addiction makes them that way . . .

But its sad that they fail to realise how many lives are crushed under their obsession for addiction.

If you are a person, u r beyond your body . . .If you are just about ypur body you are beyond any person . . .

Ultimately the truth is that, a mirror once cracked can never show good reflections ever again . . . they just bring about distortions . . just like love . .

once pushed away, never returns the wayb it was . . .

lessons and commitment

Life teaches u many things.

The best lesson I have learnt offlate is that, the greatest problem in my life was that I was trying to Define things.

The best thing to do is to undefine things and leave them the way you are.

Let the questions be, and respect the mysteries that hide within.

Looking for answers again is a wasteful attempt to define things.

The best thing to do is dissolve your ego and let go of your individuality. Individuality is the greatest hindrance to creativity.

The most creative thing is to fall i love with the somebody in an instant. But the greatest task is to stand by your creativity.

People who dont want to commit are actually not running away from commitment. They are running away from peace, comfort and habbit. They are naddicted to chaos and meaningless. And the high of their life is to remain happy . . even if its just superficial.

What fun!

what fun it is. . . 

to be alone . . . stand  alone  . . .and grow alone . . 

to look within . . . see light . . .and feel the power.

laugh

cry 

still be happy