A Scene from an imaginary film

I was free in the later part

of the day today. went to comercial street and richmond road for some work and some shopping. Found some intesting stuff. While returning back from there to my place was stuck in this huge traffic. Had no clue what to do. A imaginary movie was running in my brain. A lousy one. But I would like to share a scene from there.

So here it is a scene from my imaginary film.

(SUdeshna and Ajay are a couple. Married for five years. Now they are seperating. Marriage is not bliss anymore. Sudeshna has packed her bag and is ready to leave... its night . . . and Ajay has returned from work . . he is amused . . .)

A: whats this sudhi? whay r ur bags packed?

s: I am leaving Ajay, . . for good . .

a: why this madness?

s: You know why . . !

a: no I dont . .tell me . . i need to know . .

s: u have always known. . . U just pretended to look past it. Even I always knew . .

but I was in denial.

a: what crap? what did I know? . . what did you know?

s: stop acting like u dont know the answers Ajay

a: and u stop acting like u r a victim of this marriage. U are addicted to deppression. . its your

problem . . dont hold me responsible for this.

s: I always thought so too Ajay. But I will not blame myself any more . .

a: ya .. right!!!! so what is the meaning for all the mess that has ruined our marriage? whats rhe reason foe all Your insanity . .your stupid behavior . . ?

s: I did not ruin this marriage . . U did . .

a: whattt?

s: I knew all the time Ajay . . I knew all the time about you . .

a: what did u know . .?

s: (is silent)

a: what? . . . . . . . . . . ??? that i slept around with other women?

s: (smiles) . .correct . . I knew all the time Ajay . . every time you slept with another woman, u remembered me with guilt . . and that guilt reached my consciense.

a: he he he .. dont be stupid Sudhi . .

s: I know its true.... and i was stupid all this time . .. but not any more .

a: but you know it meant nothing sudhi . U r my love . .

s: If i was your love . . why did you sleep with other women Ajay?

a: It was meaningless .

s: was it because you found cuter women? sexier women? or was oit besause they were better in bed?

a: stop it Sudhi . . I am telling you . .It was meaningless

s: meaningless?? why would some one do meaningless things? whats the mesaning behind this meaningless actions of yours?

a: I dont know why its such a big deal to you . . ?

s: you will never know Ahjay .. thats the difference between you and me . . Every time you even thought of another woman,I knew it . .and I went through endless pain and suffering. everytime i suffered in my loneliness and blamed myself for the way i think . . . . when it was true all the time . . .

you ruined me . . You devastated me . .

I know you dont feel guilty . .u dont feel you are wrong . . but I disagree . . and i want to forgive myself. . i want to be happy . .

I will let you free . .

take your freedom . . . but u will never get my love back . . .its too late for that . .

I have lived with you for all these years, so I wont hate you . but I will not hold on to you also . .i will break through this and find my peace.

bye . . .

(she leaves)

I suddenly woke up from the scene -----

It was hard for me to let sudheshna go away. Because of i let her walk out of my scene, i would never really know what she would go through . . where she would go . . I wanted to give her a hug and tell her that she was right and she should be strong. But she would never trust anyone ever again, s0 I knew she wouldnt trust me either . . so I just let her go . . .

I wish i could tell her that people do things in life to momentarily forget themselves . .people hate loneliness and silence because they cant talk to themselves or face themselves . . people write, paint, act because monentarily they get to be in another persons life and not their own. . . . some people deal with themselves by expressing their sonfusions

and

others find addiction as a solution . . Addiction to smoking . . drinking . . food . . and sex . . . they dont accept the fact that their addiction is ruining them and everything around them... they justify their addiction because addiction makes them that way . . .

But its sad that they fail to realise how many lives are crushed under their obsession for addiction.

If you are a person, u r beyond your body . . .If you are just about ypur body you are beyond any person . . .

Ultimately the truth is that, a mirror once cracked can never show good reflections ever again . . . they just bring about distortions . . just like love . .

once pushed away, never returns the wayb it was . . .